Dear Inner Circle,

In a tiny living room this week I was a guest at a birthday party. Actually, I was the complete guest list. A precious old lady throws a party for herself at this time each year and I’m not sure how many people are invited but generally I’m the only one who attends. There have been years when there were two or three of us who gather to celebrate the life of this gorgeous old thing. At one point she asked me if I would like some savoury biscuits with french onion dip. I politely declined but it caused her to yell at the top of her frail voice, “Then I will have bought them for nothing!” I was served a few small biscuits with a blob of dip in a saucer and I ate them all, including the soggy few that had sat in water.

A fellow travelled a long way to visit me to discuss his possible fifth wedding. He told me that he thought there was something in wedding cake that caused women to lose their appetite for physical intimacy. In a way, he was saying that love is an illusory idea and the only comfort in life on offer is the first “discovery” phase of a relationship. One wonders why he would want to go through this cycle yet again. It’s not for me to judge. I think the man feels trapped by his own neediness and that a man’s inborn desire for love is some kind of cosmic joke. I agree that intimacy must be lost, simply because there are clothes to wash, there is shopping to be done, and money to be earned. As we do these everyday things it’s inevitable that we form firm ideas about the one we love. But the other person is always greater than our idea of them. The trick is to turn from our ideas long enough to be captured by the awesome that captured us in the first place. Anyway, I’m only telling you this story so that I can share with you the funniest quote of the week. The man thought he was quoting the bible to me when he said, “A camel cannot live by bread alone”. I love my life.

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Dear Inner Circle,

A woman sat so close to me in the café this morning that to even pick up my cup of coffee was awkward. “Do you have a job?” she asked. “Yes I have a job” I replied. “Do you have a car?” she asked. “Yes” I said, “I have a car”. “Do you have a wife?” was the next question. When I replied, “Yes, I’m married to a lovely woman” my interrogator suddenly lost interest and moved away.

Leslie is a person whose entrance into any room, warms it up. Every day of my life I’m in awe of the team of people who give their lives to serve others at Wayside. Leslie is a youth worker and as she walked in this morning, about ten people all lit up in some way or yelled out, “Hi”. One big boofy fellow got up and gave her a hug. The bloke sitting next to me turned and said, “That big bloke seems to get away with hugging women. I think it's because he’s old and big and he's like everyone’s grandfather. Some blokes” he said, “can’t get away with it because the women just know somehow that it wouldn't be ‘a thing’”. “So” I said, “if you hugged Leslie, would there be ‘a thing’”? He replied through a warm, wide smile, “It would definitely be ‘a thing’ and she’d know it and put me in my place.”

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Dear Inner Circle,

There’s an active death wish as well as a desire for life at work in many people. Early today I had conversation with an impressive woman. With a good partner, a couple of healthy kids and a skyrocketing career, there is never-the-less a yearning desire to move backwards to seek approval from those who never gave it and almost certainly never will. She comes from a large extended family with a history of dysfunction and a blindingly complex history of who did what wrong to whom. The focus of the family was how each action of hurt seemed to be in response to some prior hurtful action. She had a lot of trouble deciding whether she wanted to be right or whether she wanted to be well. I said, “Do you want to look behind or in front?” This woman has put so much energy into forging a new life, it’s surprising that occasionally she gets stuck in a backward look. “I promise you that your future can be a stronger determiner of your present than your past.” Much of modern psychology focuses on analysing the past but for those who are on their way to a new life, there is a sense of destiny to which they are moving with their whole being. Most people making a miraculous turn around can say exactly what their destiny is but they believe in it and they keep their feet pointing forwards. She left me with two clear options. I just sent her a text saying, “Did you choose to be right or did you choose to be well?” and I got one back saying, “Well, all the way.” It’s been a good day already.

Last week I told you of a young fellow with a big frame, “who looks like he could pick up a sheep with one hand and put into his pocket.” I told of how he had bravely moved away from the drug taking that was killing him and had started to work out again in the gym. I said last week that “if we could find him a job, he’ll be on his way and never look back”. I’m over the moon to tell you that two unrelated members of this inner circle wrote...[read more]

Dear Inner Circle,

Dame Marie Bashir was in our lift yesterday and I saw her put her arms around an aboriginal woman. She said, “Every time I see an aboriginal sister, I just want to say, ‘Thank you, thank you, thank you.” Dame Marie was here for our celebrations to mark NAIDOC Week. There were few happier places on earth than Wayside yesterday. We were able to peer into a future Australia that will enter into it’s own maturity because it knows that to love the land means to love the people of the land.

A homeless woman rushed through our front door the other day to say that someone had set fire to another homeless person’s mattress. There is a mattress set up near the theatre right behind us. We were about to rush to the fire and the lady said, “Don’t rush, I put the fire out.” She went on to explain that she’d poured all of her wine over the fire. I’m not sure if she was expecting we’d replace her supply of plonk or perhaps nominate her for an Order of Australia.

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Dear Inner Circle,

A country boy landed here in Kings Cross a couple of months ago. He’s built like he could pick up a sheep in one hand and put it into his pocket. A disastrous experimentation with drugs caused him to leave everyone he knows and shelter in the anonymity of Kings Cross. He used to sit at our front pathetically trying to prevent himself from falling to the ground under the influence of drugs. He said to Una, our Senior Community Worker, one day, “I’m not the no hoper you think I am. I’m better than this”. Una replied, “Don’t tell me about it, show me!” Today I had a conversation with the same man. He’s drug-free, clear-faced, bright-eyed and truly present with us. He’s working hard at the gym to bring his strength back. It’s a joy to stand with him and behold the transformation. If we can find him a job soon, there’ll be no looking back.

The same fellow came to church last Sunday and we asked him to read the scripture for the day. He agreed to do it but was clearly nervous about taking a public role. I saw him several times in the morning reading in whisper the passage he was to present. Another beautiful bloke, who himself has overcome a heroin addiction to lead an inspiring life, wanted to encourage the big country boy. “Just imagine we’re all naked,” he said. The reply was, “Bro, you’re not helping.”

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