26
Nov
2014
Much of what looks like critical thinking is nothing more than a shift in fashion. We like to think ourselves wiser than previous generations but the evidence is not always conclusive. Maybe this generation is wiser in some respects but not all change indicates progress and not all progress indicates an increase in wisdom.

So much of what forms the foundations of Western society, comes to us from generations long since forgotten. Much of what forms our cultural bedrock has never been examined because it is indeed, the ground upon which all our judgement is exercised.

One of the most fundamental ideas passed to us through history is the idea that there is such thing as a single human being. Every part of our culture accepts that the basic human unit is the individual. Our education system teaches that individual effort will reward and bring advantages over those who are less able or less willing to learn. All of our law is based on the idea of the responsibility of the individual for their behavior. Our popular culture preaches the power of one at every opportunity. Most movies begin by revealing an injustice of some sort and then a story unfolds of how an individual saves the day, often with the assistance of that instrument most able to confirm this illusionary idea of the power of one; the gun. Even our attempts to heal social dysfunction mostly leave people more isolated in the process. We give people pills, pamphlets and programs and we form individuals as patients, clients and cases but “One” is lonely; it isn’t human.

To see the illusion and rethink the situation will cause us to look afresh at every aspect of our human arrangements. What if the fundamental number in the basic human unit is two? What if we are radically, hard wired as social beings? If the fundamental human unit is two, there is no human presence until there is community. The word, “I” could only ever at most describe, half of something.

An individual is only half human....[read more]
20
Nov
2014
Dear Inner Circle,
With a bit of luck, I thought my birthday might pass unnoticed this year. An astonishing outpouring of love lasted all day. Early in the morning on the phone I said to my granddaughter, (9 years old) “If I’m counting correctly, I think I’m turning 37 today”. She said, “Papa, if you count correctly you’ll find you’re turning 63 today”. “Gosh Georgie” I said, “You’ve become so smart I can’t trick you about anything anymore”. “Now you’ve said something right” she said.
At my age it is hard not to acknowledge the end is coming. This is so counter cultural that it’s difficult to discuss. I had people telling me all day how young I was and how a long life laid yet before me. People want duration, dependability and predictability. Our blindness on this matter does us no good. Life has a rhythm to it and we do better to go with the flow than fight it. I have never loved life more than I do today and yet the thought of the end comforts me and fills me with anticipation. I know its a bit primitive and naive to believe in heaven but when facing the end and with so little information, I’m happy with the primitive and the naive. I nurse a deep longing to throw my arms around my son again and this hope has loosened my grip on the many things we are inclined to hang on to, too tightly. I’ll love every minute between here and then but what a day that will be. I’m hoping there will be dancing at my funeral....  Read the rest of here.
06
Nov
2014

Dear Inner Circle,


Exactly one year ago I told you of a young woman who walked into Wayside and asked to see me. Her head was covered by a veil and she couldn’t look me in the face. Her speech was difficult because her whole body was shaking. She told me that she was in trouble. A lot of trouble! In order to escape a situation of unspeakable domestic violence, she had set fire to a home while her husband was asleep. The end result was serious damage to property, serious burns to a large percentage of her own body and an uninjured but insanely angry husband. Her world had crumbled to the extent that this drastic action seemed like more or less her only option. She would have been content to lose her life in the fire. She walked into Wayside on the day she was released from hospital; she had no plan and no where to go. I remember holding her in my arms as I said an ancient prayer and wondered if she would ever see better days.


This same woman walked into Wayside last night to show herself to me. I was struck dumb by this beautiful, vivacious, outgoing woman and I really struggled to believe it was the same woman that I met one year ago. She didn’t have to say a word for me to recognise a rare miracle before me. All evidence of burns on her face are gone and instead her eyes literally dance with life and speak without need of words. She is employed full time and she has a secure place to live. She visited yesterday only to show me how far she had come. She told me that the prayer I said a year ago was her turning point and she quoted it back to me. I get quite used to seeing people in the worst moment of their lives and it was a rare and beautiful moment for me to talk to this young woman and rejoice in a life recovered and discovered. Read on here [read more]

30
Oct
2014
Graham the grandfather
When I was just a young father, I asked my own father once, “Can you love your children too much?” My Dad loved questions that gave him opportunity to give a bit of a speech. Dad was pretty good at putting questions into a context so that the question could be refined and then he’d often give a lecture about the history of the words we were using at the time and then finally he almost always found a way to cite bible passages and give a theological punch at the end of his speech. I recall there being a long, rather awkward pause as Dad gathered his thoughts. Finally, he said, “No”. I was so stunned that it felt like follow up questions would only prove I hadn’t listened to his single word answer.

I enjoyed being a father more than any other man I’ve met and now I’m a grandfather, I still worry a little that my love for my grandchildren might feel at times for them like I’m trying to pour the ocean into a thimble. It looks a bit like they accept that their grandfather is a bit mushy and pragmatically, they know well how to use this to their advantage. My 9 year old suggested recently that she might like a T shirt that said, “My grandfather never says ‘No’”. It’s a quality esteemed by my girl to the extent that she would like to advertise on her shirt yet she knows her Grandmother and her Mother are not so deliriously keen.

“How come it turned out that the world’s most beautiful kids became my granddaughters”, I asked my 7 year old while she was busy organizing the next bit of fun. The only way to talk to this girl is in middle of action. She would normally ignore my soppy rhetorical questions but this time, without even turning her head toward me, she said, “Cause you loved James.”

Listen to this little girl. For those of you with little kids, I promise you that every bit of love you pour into your children is forming your grandchildren and your great grandchildren. You may never meet these children and yet their life...[read more]
30
Oct
2014

Dear Inner Circle,


Last night I witnessed one of the most astonishing acts of community making. We called it “Wayside’s got talent” and about 80 people cheered, whistled and danced with various people who shared their talents at Wayside. We had stand up comedy, songs and there was even a band formed from our Twilight program, all in the name of Mental Health Month. The band had the name “Wayside Musical Group” - I think they could work on that name before they go on a world tour - but they were good; really good. Every act was equally esteemed by the audience and atmosphere was created that could only be described as “love” and a community with no ‘us and them’. There were no scores and no prizes because every act was a brave act of faith and every participant was a winner.  I’ll bet all those 80 people went home lifted and inspired; I did..... read the rest of Graham's Inner Circle here.

17
Oct
2014
Public school
If ever a cluster of errors combined to make a bad policy, it must be the provision of religious chaplains to Public schools. The mere provision of money only guarantees the creation of vested interest making rational consideration of the issues difficult. There is a real danger that we have witnessed a deal that will go badly for the Federal government in the longer term and also for the church and Christianity.

The key issue in the provision of any service into our schools must be the question of minimum qualifications required. If a person has the appropriate degree and experience to deal with the complexities of a modern school environment, the question of religion or lack thereof, would be of little interest.

What purpose could be served for the funding government by favouring the appointment of people of a religious commitment? Whatever the answer to that question, it seems to be way outside of the concern of education. If no particular purpose can be identified, the exercise looks a like a vote buying exercise, aimed at the fundamentalist end of the Christian church. Religious chaplaincy in Public schools began as an initiative of the Howard Government that in its last term made an art form of vote buying.

The church too has made an error. It has been bought cheaply. The program remunerates the chaplains at about half the rate the church itself would pay for an ordained person and at about half the rate a psychologist would cost the State. Not withstanding that there may be many stories of well intentioned, good people making a worthwhile contribution to particular schools; a policy to pay peanuts is a policy to employ monkeys. If government really believe in this program, they should fund it properly. If the church believed in the program, they should insist that it be funded properly. It looks like a quick fix from every angle.

Even if you believe the State should fund some kind of religious presence in schools, there can be little to justify...[read more]
16
Oct
2014
Dear Inner Circle,
Laughter is an essential part of Wayside. If you read everything written about Wayside and viewed all the YouTube clips and studied our 50 years of history and weren’t laughing at least some of the time; you would only reveal that you didn’t really get our essence and our mission. We cry a bit and we’re familiar with death and grieving but we laugh. We never laugh at people but we laugh. If our mission was to manage people, laughter would be the first casualty but our mission isn’t focused on fixing or indeed anything that’s short term. Our vision is for a healthy community; a place where everyone belongs; a community with no ‘us and them’. At our best, we laugh at ourselves and declare that you can fail and still be ok.

Read the rest of the Inner Circle here...
16
Oct
2014
Judy & Bob Laws
Intimacy is not a state of being so much as it is an event. It happens. It has a beginning, middle and an end. All intimacy must end. The idea that intimacy can be achieved and sustained is a popular myth more attuned to the impulse of an addict than to real life.

Real life has a rhythm to it. Day and night; hot and cold; sleep and awake; breathing in and breathing out. Maturity tunes into the rhythms of life and finds the wisdom of movement. Imagine someone who thought their last intake of air was so good that they choose not to exhale. We’d recognize immediately the folly and yet we persist in the idea that a marriage can last longer than a day.

Intimacy comes when it is not invited and the harder we hang on to it, the quicker it evaporates.

The hardest people to meet are those we know best. The only hope for monogamy is the calm acceptance of intimacy’s loss and a readiness to see the partner as if for the first time. The other plan would be to have a new partner every day. Having been married to the same person for 43 years, I hold that its possible to meet a long term partner as if for the first time.

In the course of our normal relationships, we get to know things. We learn the history of the other and we learn what food they like and what toothpaste they use. The more we know the more we become experts. We form clear ideas about the other. The trouble is that what we know is an impediment to our next meeting. I have a clear idea about the person I’ve been married to for 43 years but it has always been true and is at this moment, that she is always greater than my idea of her. The only way I can meet her is to forsake my ideas and turn toward the real person.

My ideas are all located in me but the real person is over there, beside me, outside of me. Her very presence invites me to intimacy although generally I’m too busy to notice the invitation. In the world of my own ideas, where I am always the smartest person in the room, I can...[read more]