30
Jul
2015
Dear Inner Circle,
In a tiny living room this week I was a guest at a birthday party. Actually, I was the complete guest list. A precious old lady throws a party for herself at this time each year and I’m not sure how many people are invited but generally I’m the only one who attends. There have been years when there were two or three of us who gather to celebrate the life of this gorgeous old thing. At one point she asked me if I would like some savoury biscuits with french onion dip. I politely declined but it caused her to yell at the top of her frail voice, “Then I will have bought them for nothing!” I was served a few small biscuits with a blob of dip in a saucer and I ate them all, including the soggy few that had sat in water.
A fellow travelled a long way to visit me to discuss his possible fifth wedding. He told me that he thought there was something in wedding cake that caused women to lose their appetite for physical intimacy. In a way, he was saying that love is an illusory idea and the only comfort in life on offer is the first “discovery” phase of a relationship. One wonders why he would want to go through this cycle yet again. It’s not for me to judge. I think the man feels trapped by his own neediness and that a man’s inborn desire for love is some kind of cosmic joke. I agree that intimacy must be lost, simply because there are clothes to wash, there is shopping to be done, and money to be earned. As we do these everyday things it’s inevitable that we form firm ideas about the one we love. But the other person is always greater than our idea of them. The trick is to turn from our ideas long enough to be captured by the awesome that captured us in the first place. Anyway, I’m only telling you this story so that I can share with you the funniest quote of the week. The man thought he was quoting the bible to me when he said, “A camel cannot live by bread alone”. I love my life.
Keep reading[read more]
In a tiny living room this week I was a guest at a birthday party. Actually, I was the complete guest list. A precious old lady throws a party for herself at this time each year and I’m not sure how many people are invited but generally I’m the only one who attends. There have been years when there were two or three of us who gather to celebrate the life of this gorgeous old thing. At one point she asked me if I would like some savoury biscuits with french onion dip. I politely declined but it caused her to yell at the top of her frail voice, “Then I will have bought them for nothing!” I was served a few small biscuits with a blob of dip in a saucer and I ate them all, including the soggy few that had sat in water.
A fellow travelled a long way to visit me to discuss his possible fifth wedding. He told me that he thought there was something in wedding cake that caused women to lose their appetite for physical intimacy. In a way, he was saying that love is an illusory idea and the only comfort in life on offer is the first “discovery” phase of a relationship. One wonders why he would want to go through this cycle yet again. It’s not for me to judge. I think the man feels trapped by his own neediness and that a man’s inborn desire for love is some kind of cosmic joke. I agree that intimacy must be lost, simply because there are clothes to wash, there is shopping to be done, and money to be earned. As we do these everyday things it’s inevitable that we form firm ideas about the one we love. But the other person is always greater than our idea of them. The trick is to turn from our ideas long enough to be captured by the awesome that captured us in the first place. Anyway, I’m only telling you this story so that I can share with you the funniest quote of the week. The man thought he was quoting the bible to me when he said, “A camel cannot live by bread alone”. I love my life.
Keep reading
23
Jul
2015
Dear Inner Circle,
A woman sat so close to me in the café this morning that to even pick up my cup of coffee was awkward. “Do you have a job?” she asked. “Yes I have a job” I replied. “Do you have a car?” she asked. “Yes” I said, “I have a car”. “Do you have a wife?” was the next question. When I replied, “Yes, I’m married to a lovely woman” my interrogator suddenly lost interest and moved away.
Leslie is a person whose entrance into any room, warms it up. Every day of my life I’m in awe of the team of people who give their lives to serve others at Wayside. Leslie is a youth worker and as she walked in this morning, about ten people all lit up in some way or yelled out, “Hi”. One big boofy fellow got up and gave her a hug. The bloke sitting next to me turned and said, “That big bloke seems to get away with hugging women. I think it's because he’s old and big and he's like everyone’s grandfather. Some blokes” he said, “can’t get away with it because the women just know somehow that it wouldn't be ‘a thing’”. “So” I said, “if you hugged Leslie, would there be ‘a thing’”? He replied through a warm, wide smile, “It would definitely be ‘a thing’ and she’d know it and put me in my place.”
Keep reading here.
A woman sat so close to me in the café this morning that to even pick up my cup of coffee was awkward. “Do you have a job?” she asked. “Yes I have a job” I replied. “Do you have a car?” she asked. “Yes” I said, “I have a car”. “Do you have a wife?” was the next question. When I replied, “Yes, I’m married to a lovely woman” my interrogator suddenly lost interest and moved away.
Leslie is a person whose entrance into any room, warms it up. Every day of my life I’m in awe of the team of people who give their lives to serve others at Wayside. Leslie is a youth worker and as she walked in this morning, about ten people all lit up in some way or yelled out, “Hi”. One big boofy fellow got up and gave her a hug. The bloke sitting next to me turned and said, “That big bloke seems to get away with hugging women. I think it's because he’s old and big and he's like everyone’s grandfather. Some blokes” he said, “can’t get away with it because the women just know somehow that it wouldn't be ‘a thing’”. “So” I said, “if you hugged Leslie, would there be ‘a thing’”? He replied through a warm, wide smile, “It would definitely be ‘a thing’ and she’d know it and put me in my place.”
Keep reading here.
16
Jul
2015
Dear Inner Circle,
There’s an active death wish as well as a desire for life at work in many people. Early today I had conversation with an impressive woman. With a good partner, a couple of healthy kids and a skyrocketing career, there is never-the-less a yearning desire to move backwards to seek approval from those who never gave it and almost certainly never will. She comes from a large extended family with a history of dysfunction and a blindingly complex history of who did what wrong to whom. The focus of the family was how each action of hurt seemed to be in response to some prior hurtful action. She had a lot of trouble deciding whether she wanted to be right or whether she wanted to be well. I said, “Do you want to look behind or in front?” This woman has put so much energy into forging a new life, it’s surprising that occasionally she gets stuck in a backward look. “I promise you that your future can be a stronger determiner of your present than your past.” Much of modern psychology focuses on analysing the past but for those who are on their way to a new life, there is a sense of destiny to which they are moving with their whole being. Most people making a miraculous turn around can say exactly what their destiny is but they believe in it and they keep their feet pointing forwards. She left me with two clear options. I just sent her a text saying, “Did you choose to be right or did you choose to be well?” and I got one back saying, “Well, all the way.” It’s been a good day already.
Last week I told you of a young fellow with a big frame, “who looks like he could pick up a sheep with one hand and put into his pocket.” I told of how he had bravely moved away from the drug taking that was killing him and had started to work out again in the gym. I said last week that “if we could find him a job, he’ll be on his way and never look back”. I’m over the moon to tell you that two unrelated members of this inner circle wrote...[read more]
There’s an active death wish as well as a desire for life at work in many people. Early today I had conversation with an impressive woman. With a good partner, a couple of healthy kids and a skyrocketing career, there is never-the-less a yearning desire to move backwards to seek approval from those who never gave it and almost certainly never will. She comes from a large extended family with a history of dysfunction and a blindingly complex history of who did what wrong to whom. The focus of the family was how each action of hurt seemed to be in response to some prior hurtful action. She had a lot of trouble deciding whether she wanted to be right or whether she wanted to be well. I said, “Do you want to look behind or in front?” This woman has put so much energy into forging a new life, it’s surprising that occasionally she gets stuck in a backward look. “I promise you that your future can be a stronger determiner of your present than your past.” Much of modern psychology focuses on analysing the past but for those who are on their way to a new life, there is a sense of destiny to which they are moving with their whole being. Most people making a miraculous turn around can say exactly what their destiny is but they believe in it and they keep their feet pointing forwards. She left me with two clear options. I just sent her a text saying, “Did you choose to be right or did you choose to be well?” and I got one back saying, “Well, all the way.” It’s been a good day already.
Last week I told you of a young fellow with a big frame, “who looks like he could pick up a sheep with one hand and put into his pocket.” I told of how he had bravely moved away from the drug taking that was killing him and had started to work out again in the gym. I said last week that “if we could find him a job, he’ll be on his way and never look back”. I’m over the moon to tell you that two unrelated members of this inner circle wrote...[read more]
09
Jul
2015
Dear Inner Circle,
Dame Marie Bashir was in our lift yesterday and I saw her put her arms around an aboriginal woman. She said, “Every time I see an aboriginal sister, I just want to say, ‘Thank you, thank you, thank you.” Dame Marie was here for our celebrations to mark NAIDOC Week. There were few happier places on earth than Wayside yesterday. We were able to peer into a future Australia that will enter into it’s own maturity because it knows that to love the land means to love the people of the land.
A homeless woman rushed through our front door the other day to say that someone had set fire to another homeless person’s mattress. There is a mattress set up near the theatre right behind us. We were about to rush to the fire and the lady said, “Don’t rush, I put the fire out.” She went on to explain that she’d poured all of her wine over the fire. I’m not sure if she was expecting we’d replace her supply of plonk or perhaps nominate her for an Order of Australia.
Keep reading here.
Dame Marie Bashir was in our lift yesterday and I saw her put her arms around an aboriginal woman. She said, “Every time I see an aboriginal sister, I just want to say, ‘Thank you, thank you, thank you.” Dame Marie was here for our celebrations to mark NAIDOC Week. There were few happier places on earth than Wayside yesterday. We were able to peer into a future Australia that will enter into it’s own maturity because it knows that to love the land means to love the people of the land.
A homeless woman rushed through our front door the other day to say that someone had set fire to another homeless person’s mattress. There is a mattress set up near the theatre right behind us. We were about to rush to the fire and the lady said, “Don’t rush, I put the fire out.” She went on to explain that she’d poured all of her wine over the fire. I’m not sure if she was expecting we’d replace her supply of plonk or perhaps nominate her for an Order of Australia.
Keep reading here.
02
Jul
2015
Dear Inner Circle,
A country boy landed here in Kings Cross a couple of months ago. He’s built like he could pick up a sheep in one hand and put it into his pocket. A disastrous experimentation with drugs caused him to leave everyone he knows and shelter in the anonymity of Kings Cross. He used to sit at our front pathetically trying to prevent himself from falling to the ground under the influence of drugs. He said to Una, our Senior Community Worker, one day, “I’m not the no hoper you think I am. I’m better than this”. Una replied, “Don’t tell me about it, show me!” Today I had a conversation with the same man. He’s drug-free, clear-faced, bright-eyed and truly present with us. He’s working hard at the gym to bring his strength back. It’s a joy to stand with him and behold the transformation. If we can find him a job soon, there’ll be no looking back.
The same fellow came to church last Sunday and we asked him to read the scripture for the day. He agreed to do it but was clearly nervous about taking a public role. I saw him several times in the morning reading in whisper the passage he was to present. Another beautiful bloke, who himself has overcome a heroin addiction to lead an inspiring life, wanted to encourage the big country boy. “Just imagine we’re all naked,” he said. The reply was, “Bro, you’re not helping.”
Keep reading here.
A country boy landed here in Kings Cross a couple of months ago. He’s built like he could pick up a sheep in one hand and put it into his pocket. A disastrous experimentation with drugs caused him to leave everyone he knows and shelter in the anonymity of Kings Cross. He used to sit at our front pathetically trying to prevent himself from falling to the ground under the influence of drugs. He said to Una, our Senior Community Worker, one day, “I’m not the no hoper you think I am. I’m better than this”. Una replied, “Don’t tell me about it, show me!” Today I had a conversation with the same man. He’s drug-free, clear-faced, bright-eyed and truly present with us. He’s working hard at the gym to bring his strength back. It’s a joy to stand with him and behold the transformation. If we can find him a job soon, there’ll be no looking back.
The same fellow came to church last Sunday and we asked him to read the scripture for the day. He agreed to do it but was clearly nervous about taking a public role. I saw him several times in the morning reading in whisper the passage he was to present. Another beautiful bloke, who himself has overcome a heroin addiction to lead an inspiring life, wanted to encourage the big country boy. “Just imagine we’re all naked,” he said. The reply was, “Bro, you’re not helping.”
Keep reading here.
25
Jun
2015
Dear Inner Circle,
An appointment in Pitt St this week took a little longer than I expected, making me late for another meeting back at Wayside. As soon as I was out of the lift and headed for the nearest cab, I started to text the crew at Wayside to tell them I was on my way. I’d only taken a couple of steps on the footpath when I kicked what must have been a stick. I didn’t fall, but having lost my balance, I turned to see that I’d tripped on a white cane, held by a man wearing dark glasses! Thankfully the man didn’t stumble but he had stopped in his tracks. I don’t know if he was annoyed or frightened. My embarrassment level multiplied by a large factor and I offered my most profound apology.
Engaging in formal study is a daunting task for someone who can’t read or write. I spent some time yesterday with a fellow who grew up as a kid on the streets of Kings Cross. He was literally born on a park bench to an alcoholic mother. He lived a life that appeared to be destined for incarceration and early death. Yet I was looking into the face of a man fully alive. He’s been entirely free of alcohol for a while and he’s a fit, healthy looking man today. He’s been embarrassed by his complete lack of education and learned ways to dodge and dash to divert being noticed for his weakness. Yesterday we sat in my office and raised our glasses of water in a toast to his successful completion of a Certificate 3 at TAFE. What might look like a small step is a massive victory. There will be a graduation ceremony next year and I think the TAFE are inviting me to be a guest speaker on the occasion. What an achievement, what an honour! Thank God that Wayside never gives up and never writes anyone off as being too far gone.
Keep reading here.
An appointment in Pitt St this week took a little longer than I expected, making me late for another meeting back at Wayside. As soon as I was out of the lift and headed for the nearest cab, I started to text the crew at Wayside to tell them I was on my way. I’d only taken a couple of steps on the footpath when I kicked what must have been a stick. I didn’t fall, but having lost my balance, I turned to see that I’d tripped on a white cane, held by a man wearing dark glasses! Thankfully the man didn’t stumble but he had stopped in his tracks. I don’t know if he was annoyed or frightened. My embarrassment level multiplied by a large factor and I offered my most profound apology.
Engaging in formal study is a daunting task for someone who can’t read or write. I spent some time yesterday with a fellow who grew up as a kid on the streets of Kings Cross. He was literally born on a park bench to an alcoholic mother. He lived a life that appeared to be destined for incarceration and early death. Yet I was looking into the face of a man fully alive. He’s been entirely free of alcohol for a while and he’s a fit, healthy looking man today. He’s been embarrassed by his complete lack of education and learned ways to dodge and dash to divert being noticed for his weakness. Yesterday we sat in my office and raised our glasses of water in a toast to his successful completion of a Certificate 3 at TAFE. What might look like a small step is a massive victory. There will be a graduation ceremony next year and I think the TAFE are inviting me to be a guest speaker on the occasion. What an achievement, what an honour! Thank God that Wayside never gives up and never writes anyone off as being too far gone.
Keep reading here.
18
Jun
2015
Dear Inner Circle,
“Dad, I’ve just chosen a nursing home for you!” My daughter must have thought this would be welcome news! She said, “It’s really close to where I live and if I get any calls in the middle of the night to say, ‘Your father has gone walkabout’, I won’t have far to look.” How good is it to have a daughter that is looking out for my best interests…a long way in advance.
A dad with a broken heart wanted to tell me what a beautiful son he had and so we gazed into some photos. He only had a dozen photos and some of those were school photos. Recognising anyone’s kid from a school photo is a tough assignment. There were a
couple of photos of a strong, healthy-looking boy in carefree days. People of good will often avoid talking to a grieving parent about their deceased child and that might be the right tactic for some but this man wanted to talk about his son. He wanted to hear his son’s name in the air.
This morning a young wife could barely speak as she told me that her husband had sunk into such despair that suicide was looking like a real option. She was talking about a man who has everything going for him and yet cannot make headway on a project of importance to him. These two have a net worth way beyond mine (perhaps not a good measure of wealth) and they have everything they need. They love each other and they have three adorable daughters. It’s a relatively easy matter to slip into a deep depression even when you have everything in the world. While I don’t know the man so well, it seems he’s formed a habit of spending every waking moment focusing on what he doesn’t have rather than what he does have.
Keep reading here.
“Dad, I’ve just chosen a nursing home for you!” My daughter must have thought this would be welcome news! She said, “It’s really close to where I live and if I get any calls in the middle of the night to say, ‘Your father has gone walkabout’, I won’t have far to look.” How good is it to have a daughter that is looking out for my best interests…a long way in advance.
A dad with a broken heart wanted to tell me what a beautiful son he had and so we gazed into some photos. He only had a dozen photos and some of those were school photos. Recognising anyone’s kid from a school photo is a tough assignment. There were a
couple of photos of a strong, healthy-looking boy in carefree days. People of good will often avoid talking to a grieving parent about their deceased child and that might be the right tactic for some but this man wanted to talk about his son. He wanted to hear his son’s name in the air.
This morning a young wife could barely speak as she told me that her husband had sunk into such despair that suicide was looking like a real option. She was talking about a man who has everything going for him and yet cannot make headway on a project of importance to him. These two have a net worth way beyond mine (perhaps not a good measure of wealth) and they have everything they need. They love each other and they have three adorable daughters. It’s a relatively easy matter to slip into a deep depression even when you have everything in the world. While I don’t know the man so well, it seems he’s formed a habit of spending every waking moment focusing on what he doesn’t have rather than what he does have.
Keep reading here.
17
Jun
2015
Some kids come to life as soon as you go outdoors. We took our eight-year-old and 10-year-old granddaughters to the beach recently. The first request to get to the beach came at 5am but we insisted they have breakfast and eventually at 8am we were on the sand. The kids ran almost involuntarily, leaving two old grandparents out of ear shot and doing their best to say, “slow down” and “be careful” and all manner of things that grandparents seem compelled to say. Finally all four of us stood between the flags in our bathers. Eye contact with the 8-year-old was impossible. She was in a state of awe as she looked to the vast ocean and the crashing waves. “Let’s do this!” she said as she pulled me into the water.
Being human is not a matter of capturing moments. Being human is nothing like taking a photo in order to capture and experience and file away a memory. Being human is an act. It’s an activity. Being human is about being captured by the awesome, grabbing a nearby hand and proclaiming, “Let’s do this!”
Being human is not a matter of outcomes. There is a place for goals to be set and outcomes to be measured but it rarely causes anyone to say, “wow”. Being human is not about knowing how much water is in the ocean or what the temperature it might be. We have so much to learn from children.
A kid not only sees the awesome but they know somehow the awesome is waiting to be done: It not about simply appreciating the mighty but rather knowing that the mighty is in need of us. Our puny strength is no barrier to the calling of life to be lived.
The mighty mission of The Wayside Chapel is creating community with no, ‘us and them’. It’s important that we see it, hear it, smell it and know that it needs to be done. It’s about love overcoming the forces of separation. “Let’s do this!”
This post originally featured in The Wayside Chapel's On the Verge newsletter, read more stories from On the Verge[read more]
Being human is not a matter of capturing moments. Being human is nothing like taking a photo in order to capture and experience and file away a memory. Being human is an act. It’s an activity. Being human is about being captured by the awesome, grabbing a nearby hand and proclaiming, “Let’s do this!”
Being human is not a matter of outcomes. There is a place for goals to be set and outcomes to be measured but it rarely causes anyone to say, “wow”. Being human is not about knowing how much water is in the ocean or what the temperature it might be. We have so much to learn from children.
A kid not only sees the awesome but they know somehow the awesome is waiting to be done: It not about simply appreciating the mighty but rather knowing that the mighty is in need of us. Our puny strength is no barrier to the calling of life to be lived.
The mighty mission of The Wayside Chapel is creating community with no, ‘us and them’. It’s important that we see it, hear it, smell it and know that it needs to be done. It’s about love overcoming the forces of separation. “Let’s do this!”
This post originally featured in The Wayside Chapel's On the Verge newsletter, read more stories from On the Verge
11
Jun
2015
Dear Inner Circle,
Golly gosh what a few days it’s been! I had a letter that informed me that I would be named in the Queen’s birthday honours list and that from Monday, I would be entitled to put the letters “AM” after my name. My daughter informs me that I am now officially a morning person. My theory is that the letters stand for “Amazing Mates”. Creating community with no “us and them” is my destiny toward which I move with my whole being. Anything that I’ve ever achieved has been a result of an effort by Amazing Mates. It could be quite misleading to pin a medal on my chest as if there was some kind of singular achievement.
I couldn’t accept an award that asserted individual achievement. If however this award is akin to the athlete that holds the flag in front of a team of athletes as they march into an Olympic venue, then I’m proud to be a leader of Amazing Mates and hold a flag of achievement and pride on behalf of such Amazing Mates.
Keep reading here.
Golly gosh what a few days it’s been! I had a letter that informed me that I would be named in the Queen’s birthday honours list and that from Monday, I would be entitled to put the letters “AM” after my name. My daughter informs me that I am now officially a morning person. My theory is that the letters stand for “Amazing Mates”. Creating community with no “us and them” is my destiny toward which I move with my whole being. Anything that I’ve ever achieved has been a result of an effort by Amazing Mates. It could be quite misleading to pin a medal on my chest as if there was some kind of singular achievement.
I couldn’t accept an award that asserted individual achievement. If however this award is akin to the athlete that holds the flag in front of a team of athletes as they march into an Olympic venue, then I’m proud to be a leader of Amazing Mates and hold a flag of achievement and pride on behalf of such Amazing Mates.
Keep reading here.
04
Jun
2015
Dear Inner Circle,
Let me tell you the loveliest thing. A new rose has been developed and it has been named the Marie Bashir rose! What a fitting way to pay tribute to one of the most loved people in this country. A Marie Bashir rose is to be planted in Government House and I’m honoured to tell you that I’ll be there when this takes place. Typical of the beautiful lady that is being honoured, every rose purchased will see a small royalty sent to The Wayside Chapel. How lovely is this? How lovely is the incomparable Dame Marie Bashir?
Minutes ago I met a young girl and she sent me packing. We’ve spoken only a couple of times over the past year and each time seemed like I captured an important moment. Today I saw a 60-year-old face on a 20-year-old body. She looked into my face and I saw her face harden. She yelled, “No! Go away!” I get it. We’ve shared a couple of moments of being present to one another and they were powerful encounters. Right now, it’s not what she wants. Indeed I can see that she’s doing her best to manage her rather out of control life and she needs to be free to manage. I understand that no one can live in the bare present. It must be known briefly and quickly left. I think i
t’s how life is and should be. It is impossible to organise life in the present. I’m certain we can live in the bare past where life is experienced and things are used but this is not human life.
Keep reading here.
Let me tell you the loveliest thing. A new rose has been developed and it has been named the Marie Bashir rose! What a fitting way to pay tribute to one of the most loved people in this country. A Marie Bashir rose is to be planted in Government House and I’m honoured to tell you that I’ll be there when this takes place. Typical of the beautiful lady that is being honoured, every rose purchased will see a small royalty sent to The Wayside Chapel. How lovely is this? How lovely is the incomparable Dame Marie Bashir?
Minutes ago I met a young girl and she sent me packing. We’ve spoken only a couple of times over the past year and each time seemed like I captured an important moment. Today I saw a 60-year-old face on a 20-year-old body. She looked into my face and I saw her face harden. She yelled, “No! Go away!” I get it. We’ve shared a couple of moments of being present to one another and they were powerful encounters. Right now, it’s not what she wants. Indeed I can see that she’s doing her best to manage her rather out of control life and she needs to be free to manage. I understand that no one can live in the bare present. It must be known briefly and quickly left. I think i
t’s how life is and should be. It is impossible to organise life in the present. I’m certain we can live in the bare past where life is experienced and things are used but this is not human life.
Keep reading here.
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