Dear Inner Circle,
With a bit of luck, I thought my birthday might pass unnoticed this year. An astonishing outpouring of love lasted all day. Early in the morning on the phone I said to my granddaughter, (9 years old) “If I’m counting correctly, I think I’m turning 37 today”. She said, “Papa, if you count correctly you’ll find you’re turning 63 today”. “Gosh Georgie” I said, “You’ve become so smart I can’t trick you about anything anymore”. “Now you’ve said something right” she said.
At my age it is hard not to acknowledge the end is coming. This is so counter cultural that it’s difficult to discuss. I had people telling me all day how young I was and how a long life laid yet before me. People want duration, dependability and predictability. Our blindness on this matter does us no good. Life has a rhythm to it and we do better to go with the flow than fight it. I have never loved life more than I do today and yet the thought of the end comforts me and fills me with anticipation. I know its a bit primitive and naive to believe in heaven but when facing the end and with so little information, I’m happy with the primitive and the naive. I nurse a deep longing to throw my arms around my son again and this hope has loosened my grip on the many things we are inclined to hang on to, too tightly. I’ll love every minute between here and then but what a day that will be. I’m hoping there will be dancing at my funeral....
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