Dear Inner Circle,

None of us ever, “arrive”. Life is fluid and we either grow or diminish. Our lives are either opening up or closing down. At Wayside, we recognise a life closing down when the driving question is, “What can you give me?” There is a closely related question, “How much can I get for the least?” and you don’t have to be homeless to be driven by that question. At times for all of us, life is closing down, small things seem to loom large while important issues become invisible. At times, hopefully for all of us, our lives open up. It’s always a surprise and eventually a delight. At Wayside, we can’t make anyone suddenly want to live. The best we can do is to be awake so that we see what we’ve been looking at all day. We have no secret and we are suspicious of all who claim simple answers or any kind of magic. We know however that when a life begins to open up, the driving question shifts to become, “How can I help?” One of the special honours about working at Wayside is the number of people we meet, some rough sleepers, some volunteers, some staff, some donors, who all come to us asking the question, “How can I help?”

One of our staff members told me how he’d been through a chapter of his life where small things were beginning to dominate his thinking and life. I first met this bloke as a rough sleeper. He’s a big bloke and when he was in the grip of alcohol, he was one of our more dangerous visitors. We’ve travelled together for a few years now and we’ve witnessed both amazing growth and, from time to time, a relapse into old habits. He’s doing so well; he’s doing a fantastic job and living in his precious little unit near Wayside. Recently he told me of growing tension with a neighbour. His neighbour objected to his use of his small BBQ on his balcony. Tension has been building and complaints have been made. Recently, every time he cooks, his neighbour has been taking photos and videos as evidence of the annoying smoke that is generated. “I’m within my rights”, “This is my balcony”, “Outdoor cooking is my culture” and similar 'me', 'my' statements bore witness to life ebbing away for this bloke and no doubt for his neighbour. Things escalated to the point last weekend where our man felt desperate and looked to make contact with me or his counsellor yet both of us were out of town and he didn’t want to interrupt. He knew he had to do something and he said that he just tried to imagine that he was talking with me. Finally, he knocked on his neighbour’s door and said, “I want to be a good neighbour and if that means I never cook outside, well, so be it.” His neighbour burst into tears. She feared for her safety and didn’t expect a vulnerable man, standing in her doorway, looking to heal the hurt. I said to my brother, “Mate, you gave ground!” “And there is more of me now,” he said. “What’s going on for you?” I asked. “I’m growing up” he said.

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