Dear Inner Circle,

There’s an active death wish as well as a desire for life at work in many people. Early today I had conversation with an impressive woman. With a good partner, a couple of healthy kids and a skyrocketing career, there is never-the-less a yearning desire to move backwards to seek approval from those who never gave it and almost certainly never will. She comes from a large extended family with a history of dysfunction and a blindingly complex history of who did what wrong to whom. The focus of the family was how each action of hurt seemed to be in response to some prior hurtful action. She had a lot of trouble deciding whether she wanted to be right or whether she wanted to be well. I said, “Do you want to look behind or in front?” This woman has put so much energy into forging a new life, it’s surprising that occasionally she gets stuck in a backward look. “I promise you that your future can be a stronger determiner of your present than your past.” Much of modern psychology focuses on analysing the past but for those who are on their way to a new life, there is a sense of destiny to which they are moving with their whole being. Most people making a miraculous turn around can say exactly what their destiny is but they believe in it and they keep their feet pointing forwards. She left me with two clear options. I just sent her a text saying, “Did you choose to be right or did you choose to be well?” and I got one back saying, “Well, all the way.” It’s been a good day already.

Last week I told you of a young fellow with a big frame, “who looks like he could pick up a sheep with one hand and put into his pocket.” I told of how he had bravely moved away from the drug taking that was killing him and had started to work out again in the gym. I said last week that “if we could find him a job, he’ll be on his way and never look back”. I’m over the moon to tell you that two unrelated members of this inner circle wrote to me offering this fellow a job. A real, well paid, job. Do a little dance around your table because we’ve found suitable acommodation and this week hope to help him ease into a job, offered by one of the inspiring members of this inner circle.

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